Brain Dump

I haven’t written in a few days and I have things weighing on my mind but I’m not sure where to start, so I’ve been mulling them over. I can’t even think in chronological order anymore.

Right now the divorce is going forward, but as we’ve been staying together it’s actually gotten less weird. Which is good! We talk, we have conversations about moving on without jealousy, we’ve even suggested who to date to each other (although that was, on either side, met with some resistance). Regardless, I’m glad it’s not weird. I’m glad that we’re both clearly happier with what we’ve decided and I’m glad that this hasn’t become less mutual over the past couple weeks. I am sure now that we will get through this process just fine.

One thing that irks me is that, until I confirm tomorrow, is that apparently in Vermont, no fault divorces are required to file only after couples have been separated for six months. This seems exceptionally counterproductive to me and him, seeing as we are both in agreement on everything, we’re on good terms, we’re not arguing about anything and we’re both ready to move on. Which is weird to say that only a couple weeks after we decided to get divorced, but realistically it seems now that we’ve been “out of love” for awhile and the fact we can even tentatively talk about future partners and even suggest “dates” for each other means something. I don’t think it’s a bad thing. But this seemingly arbitrary law/process just hinders each of our personal happiness and only draws out the process. Who wants to go on a date and say, “well I’m separated but not divorced yet but it’s because of some stupid law”? Honestly though I guess what 26 year old wants to go on a date and say, “I’m in the middle of getting a divorce! It’s mutual and we’re still friends but socially I have failed at life – although I am much happier now.”

This is becoming an exceptionally ranty post. Anyway. We’re both just really perplexed by this process and why we have to wait. After talking with friends and other family members it seems they also (for the ones in no fault divorces) had to wait at least six months to even file. It just seems so pedantic and outdated to require that of a couple in mutual agreement. If anyone has any information or insight, I would love to read it in the comments.

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